Good Trip Bad Trip
Besides the benefits of calm, creativity, communication, and connection, have you ever felt emotionally overwhelmed on a dose day?
I am not a doctor. These posts (and all other information blossoming from Aliud) are merely for educational purposes and not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Please consult a healthcare professional before treading these psilocybin-spiked waters.
Besides the benefits of calm, creativity, communication, and connection, have you ever felt emotionally overwhelmed on a dose day? This is actually not uncommon, and can be a positive thing if one is willing to change their perspective.
Psilocybin, in my opinion, goes into each individual and brings to the surface specific things that person needs to give attention to.
It has the ability to make you extremely sensitive to and aware of yourself and your relationships with both things and people, and what you need to do to improve upon those. Microdosing isn’t always easy and carefree, but it is always useful and meant for your betterment.
I don’t believe there is such a thing as a bad trip, because even experiences that seem bad are merely challenges that hold important lessons. We are so used to controlling every aspect of our lives, including what we suppress. But once you stop resisting and begin allowing and accepting, the real work can take place.
MESSAGES FROM CUSTOMERS
Here are some messages about this specific topic that I’ve received from Aliud customers:
“The catharsis that happened was profound as something big that was buried, slowly and softly made its way to the surface, so that I could fully release it on an energetic level. What beautiful medicine! Because I got high on the 0.5g dose, I haven’t taken it again, as it took me about a week to feel like I had fully incorporated the lessons from dose one.”
“On the first day, I noticed that I am moody even with the 0.5g. I’m easily irritated, a bit more emotional, in my feelings, etc. But then the two days off, I experience more upliftment and natural euphoria. Would you recommend an even lower dose or am I perhaps just getting used to it? I’m sure it takes a little experimenting.”
“I took the 0.5g and I think that one probably works best with me. For now. I did try the 0.1g first, and that was a little stronger for me. Maybe I need to build up my tolerance, but I do remember being more floored and unproductive. Although that happened, I was able to be present in those moments. With the lower dose, I felt more connected to everything and more present, I was able to just let things be. My mood shifted in a positive way.”
“I ran five miles, the fatigue started manifesting a lot of the doubts and dislike for myself I had inside. Basically telling me I couldn’t do it. Instead of trying to talk that part of me down, I was able to listen to it and acknowledge its presence. In a way, I was able to make a wager with myself. Essentially, I wasn’t going to try and convince that side of me it was wrong with words but, rather, I was going to give it another perspective by succeeding. Usually I have to push past [the fatigue and thoughts], but this didn’t feel like pushing or defeating something. I felt like I was able to actually listen to that part of me but not be weighed down by it.”
SET + SETTING
Even though the dose is so tiny, set and setting do still play a significant role, and you must be in a ready mindset, otherwise you may be caught off guard with something from left field. If you are in a good place mentally and emotionally (and physically) on a dose day, you will probably just have an extra breezy carefree positive day. Conversely, if you are struggling with something, consciously or subconsciously, you may be led to confront that something before moving on with anything else.
READINESS + FEAR
Maybe sometimes life allows us a period of suppression till we are ready to confront certain issues. Intense emotions brought about by dosing can definitely cause a shock if you are not ready and willing to acknowledge them. With that said, you must learn to discern between being unready and simply being afraid — if you avoid the issues continuously just because you are afraid to deal with them, you may find yourself in a perpetual rut. Though it is important to ensure you are mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically ready to face whatever comes up, it is equally as important to realize that feeling uncomfortable can sometimes be a catalyst for exponential growth. Listen to your intuition, listen to your heart, and don’t give in to fear.
FIRST TIMERS
No matter how low the dose, I feel like first time users will inevitably feel a little high as their body has never experienced the substance before. However, your tolerance should increase slightly the further you get into your journey, so your body should acclimate more after a few doses, and you won’t get that “high” feeling anymore. But it could also just be a case of people not being accustomed to confronting their emotions head on, so those things coming up so clearly and boldly on a dose day can be incredibly intense, perhaps making one feel overwhelmed and high.
Even microdosing can take some easing into and getting used to, and no person’s microdose journey is the same as another’s. I want everyone to have the best experience possible — so, as stated in Dose, Dosage, Deviation, if the 1 day on:2 days off protocol is too intense for you emotionally, feel free to adjust to your needs, take extended breaks to process, or even cease use completely. Whatever protocol you land on — be open to welcoming anything that may come up, be ready to adjust your usual perspectives on feelings and situations, and be willing to learn about and understand their function and purpose.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT + AFTERGLOW
It’s interesting how people report feeling emotionally or physically heavy, but still they are able to be present with, sit with, connect with the feeling rather than fight it. I think that’s a beautiful sign of the first step of growth. Just like the first step in AA, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.” — replace ‘alcohol’ with whatever issue it is that surfaces for you — the first step is admission, acknowledgement, acceptance.
Another common report is that even if a person’s dose day took them through a heavy emotional ride, the following day always renders them uplifted and euphoric, almost as if the dose day acted as a sort of cleanse. If the first day brings up imbalances and forces you to confront them, the second and third days more often than not bring about balance and clarity, having relieved yourself of some weight the day prior.
AN EMOTIONAL DOSE DAY
Personally, when I experience that intense kind of dose day, say for instance someone does something that irritates me — I find that instead of suppressing my irritation, holding it in for a long time, and perhaps being passive aggressive, stone-walling, or fleeing the scene altogether, I am able to neutrally approach the person and calmly discuss the situation and my feelings until we come to an understanding.
Self doubt, heavy emotions, and distracting feelings exist as normal, but don’t feel like a burden when dosing. Instead they feel approachable, and I can’t help but confront and be present with them rather than give in to or suppress them.
It is almost as if I am forced to face my current issues before I can move on with my day. So I completely understand how this can be doubly burdensome for some, especially those who are very accustomed to suppressing, denying, or escaping the more uncomfortable feelings and situations life throws. But, trust me, though it seems like a “bad” trip, it is entirely beneficial and supportive of your intrapersonal and interpersonal growth.
HEALING + HEALERS
Just like talk therapy, or any mode that claims to “heal,” psilocybin is not the solution to all of your problems. Though it may assist in your healing by indirect means, it is not the healer. WE ourselves are our own healers — not the mushroom tea or the acid tab or the Jungian psychotherapist or the cacao ceremony or the rehab in Malibu or the random person claiming to be a shaman — these are all just tools that may assist you in opening up to your own healing potential — a potential which we all have within us, with or without the drugs or gurus or whatever else people put their blind faith into. Healing takes awareness and learning and hard work, all done over the span of a lifetime.
LOVE Y’ALL
Thank you so much for the loving support, the shared testimonials, the deep talks. I appreciate all of it. Truly. Please stay safe and healthy and compassionate in these trying times. For those outside of LA, Aliud will be up and running at full capacity again pretty soon. I’m just waiting for my hazmat suit to arrive in the mail.
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